{"id":436,"date":"2020-05-02T09:36:21","date_gmt":"2020-05-02T09:36:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.maxdaldamuller.co.uk\/?p=436"},"modified":"2020-05-02T09:36:21","modified_gmt":"2020-05-02T09:36:21","slug":"covid-19-diaries-day-41-every-day-is-exactly-the-same","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maxdaldamuller.co.uk\/?p=436","title":{"rendered":"COVID-19 DIARIES. DAY 41- EVERY DAY IS EXACTLY THE SAME"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
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Photo by chuttersnap<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n

Watchet, Somerset, UK, 2nd May 2020 9:25<\/p>\n\n\n

After 41 days, we can truly say that we have been quarantined. I have been away from the blog for 8 days. This was in part due to work and family commitments but I think that there is something else going on too. I have noticed a strange mood in me, slowly but relentlessly creeping in.<\/p>\n\n\n

I have become habituated to this new and strange way of living. It’s been 41 days but it feels a lot longer than that. The memory of life is slowly drifting away from me. There is a word in German, the first language I spoke as a child, which somewhat describes this sensation: R\u00fcckkehrunruhe<\/strong>, translated as the feeling of returning home from an immersive trip only to find it fading away from awareness. We have definitely come home, away from our everyday immersive experience.<\/p>\n\n\n

Then there is the state of the world. So much death, so much pain, so much angst, so many losses. Germans have a word to describe this feeling: Weltschmerz <\/strong>or “world sickness”.<\/p>\n\n\n

I sit here, longing to go away to faraway places, to visit old friends and meet new ones. In German, this emotion is called Fernweh<\/strong>, a longing for travel. This feeling is stronger than Wanderlust<\/strong> which just describes the lust for travel rather than the longing. I think there is a difference between desiring something and missing it; the latter feels more intense to me. <\/p>\n\n\n

I know that one day it will be ok to drive the van all the way down to Spain. In the meantime, I experience what people of Galicia, where I grew up, call morri\u00f1a<\/strong>, a longing for the old country.<\/p>\n\n\n

I sit here, in the Gem\u00fctlichkeit <\/em><\/strong>of my own home. This word refers to a feeling of cosiness, contentedness, comfort and relaxation. I don’t think it translates very well into English as none of those words truly encompass the feeling of being just Gem\u00fctlich, like a cat in front of the fire. I am very grateful that I am lucky enough to live in the first world, where I can ponder on the meaning of my own comfort. The majority of people on this planet don’t have that luxury.<\/p>\n\n\n

I think this stillness and monotony is starting to get to me a little bit. I am noticing that I am experiencing another German emotion: Sehnsucht<\/strong>, which psychologists describe as: thoughts and feelings about all facets of life that are unfinished or imperfect, paired with a yearning for ideal alternative experiences. I notice as craving for excitement and adventure, for new emotions and experiences. I really could do with a walk down a windswept beach and allow the breeze to blow away the cobwebs in my soul.<\/p>\n\n\n

But in the meantime, I have to make do with my immediate world. There are enough exciting things around me. It feels important to remind myself that there is a whole lot of hitherto undiscovered interesting stuff in my vicinity. The German word Sonder<\/strong> describes the profound feeling of realising that everyone, including strangers passed in the street, has a life as complex as one’s own, which they are constantly living despite one’s personal lack of awareness of it. I think I will be make a conscious effort to allow Sonder into my life. It might just cure me of my longing.<\/p>\n\n\n

Good day all<\/p>\n\n\n

OneLove OneHeart<\/p>\n\n\n

This morning’s choice of music is by the mighty Nine Inch Nails: Every Day Is Exactly The Same<\/p>\n\n\n

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