Watchet, Somerset, UK, 29th March 2020 23:56

I went for a walk with the dog on my government approved daily exercise outing. It was a glorious sunny day but with a chilling Northeast wind.

We were on Doniford Beach where Barley was running after various birds and imaginary windmills. I was listening to the new Nine Inch Nails album Ghosts V-VI which is both apocalyptic and beautiful. NIN never let me down. I happened upon an Ammonite fossil of large size (see pic with £1 coin in middle).

These fossils are at least 65 million years old. Ammonites became extinct around the same time as the dinosaurs. With my Nine Inch Nails induced apocalyptic mind, I started wondering what it would be like if I suddenly died and my body was somehow preserved in Bristol Channel mud and I was found by another species sometime in the future.

What conclusions would they be able to come to from my remains? What would an intelligent species think about this two-legged hominid? In the same way that we managed to piece together the life that Ötzi the Iceman from the clues found on his person, let’s look at some of the clues that I would leave behind:

My clothes would indicate the following, that humans are able to use both animal materials (sheep’s wool in this case), plant matter (cotton) and plastic (which comes from fossil fuels). I wonder what they would make of my bright orange jacket. How would they interpret our fashions? As some kind of religious ritual where we are all devotees of the only god Coco Channel and its prophets Levi Strauss and Jean Paul Gaultier.

If they looked at the contents of my stomach, they would probably think that human’s diet consists mostly of coffee and pasta with Bolognese sauce. Due to the Coronavirus, this has been my main source of sustenance of late.

If they did a chemical analysis of my body, they would find high content of adrenaline and cortisol due to the stress and anxiety from the current global pandemic. They would also find a lot of vitamins from the supplements that I take to boost my immune system. They would probably infer from this that humans are highly strung and worry a lot about their health. Interestingly, if they had found my early 20s body, they would have thought that humans are hedonistic party animals with damaged eardrums who commune to music wholly or predominantly characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats, whilst under the influence of psychedelics.

I wonder would they would make of my large over ear headphones. Perhaps a symbol of status, a crown or jewell of some sort? They wouldn’t be that far off as we seem to judge a person more by the size and brand of their headphones than by their empathy and compassion.

And what would they make of my smartphone? This black shinny thing with enough processing power to run all the computers which were used ti send a man to the moon and back. What would they think it meant to a person if they died whilst holding. They would be right to think that humans give massive importance to these devices.

And if they were able to read the data on my device, they would probably think that human society was totally dystopian. I mean, what would they think of me if they looked my recent browsing history?

When I got up today, I decided that I wouldn’t look at the news as much as I have been lately. It is Sunday after all and I wanted to have a bit of a break from the whole thing. I noticed that my imagination has been more active today. It is good to spend a day not worrying about the world so much. Instead, the focus was more on simpler things: tidying up the garage, fixing the dishwasher (it actually wasn’t broken) and more importantly, spending time with my wonderfully family, enjoying a roast cooked by my lovely partner.

It is important to connect with the simple everyday things. They are an anchor in these stormy times.

Good night all

OneLove OneHeart

Tonight’s choice of music is by The Doors: Riders On The Storm

World-wide confirmed cases: 720,117

World-wide deaths: 33,925

World-wide recovered: 149,082

UK confirmed cases: 19,780

UK deaths: 1,228

UK recovered: 151


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